You are not alone

I notice that as I get older, I take myself out of community more to be alone, in the idea that I am self-responsible and independent. I’ve mastered how to do things on my own really well. It suddenly occurred to me though that this sets up a sense of separation from my community and the absence of it really matters to me.

This winter I noticed was spent mostly in quiet alone time or with family at home more than ever in previous years. Normally during this season, I would have chosen to come together and celebrate the dark and cold months by bringing warmth and good food around a table with friends. Fires on the beach under the stars and hot chocolate, celebrating matariki. Communing with nature in the crispness of cold sharp air. I missed that this year.

In fairness, there did seem to be a prolonged period when one of my family was sick, and we seemed to be struggling just to get through winter and be well. Planning anything in advance like holidays and get-togethers went out of the window.

I was yearning for my connection to community

My tribe, the people that I walk with, dance, laugh, serve, share a smile with another. I felt like too much time had passed without that sense of connection being re-inforced in my day to day interactions.

So during this time of feeling alone and disconnected from others, I pondered the question, do I really belong to a community? What is my part in it? Do I really matter to a community? This is the message that came back…

“Like animals, like insects, like the elements, we all support one another. We are all connected living beings in this world, perfect and unique. We make up the whole.

Surrender any doubt

Surrender any doubt of how important you are in this world. This is the time to stand tall and be big. To show our love for each other and to be loved. Kia Kaha because this takes facing our fears to do this; fear of rejection; fear of being seen; fear of being judged, not liked.

Yes, all of these are risks, yet isn’t there more juice in making connection with another rather than in being alone? Yes, it’s scary to take this first step, but you are going to do it sooner or later.

When we feel fear

Moving toward and away. We can’t help ourselves, it’s innate and part of this natural cycle of life. But when you feel fear, remember the animals, the insects, the trees and how much they all depend on one another to survive and they are NOT alone.”

I realised that it was not necessarily what my part was in community, but more that my part was essential. My acceptance that I do in fact belong in this community and that it enriches me just as I enrich the whole. The more I could open my heart to this, the more I felt myself belonging and then giving and receiving more.

Cherishing the group

Suddenly, it wasn’t all about me in my solo space made up of needs, dramas, dreams etc. I could sense my well-being further than that in response to the group community in which we all live in. From the insects busy moving under the earth, with life moving and transforming under our feet and all around us in every moment. I had a new felt-sense of respect for every aspect of nature and the precious balance and connection to all of us in this world and our survival. Can we open our hearts to be more inter-connected so that this incredible eco-system that we live in can thrive?

My blessings to you and all beings in this world where we need encouragement more than ever, to remember who we are.

by Marcia Montgomery